


Steve and Bucky's texts

by colorfulbucky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Kinda Crack, M/M, Mentions of Bruce Banner - Freeform, Mentions of Daisy Johnson, Mentions of Natasha Romanoff - Freeform, Texting, but not really, i put steve and bucky in all my fandoms, im not sorry, mentions of Sam Wilson - Freeform, pop culture references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 15:52:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10665906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorfulbucky/pseuds/colorfulbucky
Summary: A collection of texts between Steve and Bucky.





	Steve and Bucky's texts

homocide: honestly veronica is such a weak bitch like you should teach her how to deal with homicidal boyfriends

steve!!: it's 3 am there james and i have to do mission shit

homocide: i seemed to have misplaced my cleaning appliances in heather chandler

steve!!: go to bed

homocide: i drank six cups of coffee and i just learned the choreography for candy store

steve!!: i just

 

\-----

 

homocide: mmmm this lady is eyeing you up she's about to see jesus

steve!!: she looked at me for one second when she turned her head to look at the menu

homocide: she's testing my fuckin nerves

steve!!: i

steve!!: order your damn food

 

\-----

 

steve!!: hey daddy

homocide: steven what the fuck

steve!!: yASSSSSSS PAPI

homocide: steve if you're horny you can just say so

steve!!: DAISY HACKED INTO MY PHONE

homocide: i

 

\-----

 

steve!!: HONEY WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT

homocide: did u just

homocide: y

steve!!: do u think jack jack is still gonna be a baby in incredibles 2 or is he gonna be 14 i have so many questions 

homocide: what was the point of engaging this conversation 

steve!!: i forgot

homocide: b o i

 

\-----

 

steve!!: where's my helmet

homocide: idk

steve!!: well fuck

homocide: go without it

steve!!: i can't 

homocide: your skull is thick enough to protect you

steve!!: offended gasp

homocide: plus it's ugly

steve!!: u got me there

homocide: at least you don't wear khakis anymore

steve!!: if we don't talk about it we'll forget it and it will soon just be a nightmare

homocide: khakis are already a nightmare

steve!!: shhhhhh

 

\-----

 

steve!!: sam said you're snapping him with your hair tie again

homocide: mmmmm i don't recall that

steve!!: boi

homocide: are u calling me a liar

steve!!: i ain't calling you a truther

homocide: AYEEEEEEEE

steve!!: AYEEEEEEEEEEEEE

homocide: AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

steve!!: AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

homocide: AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

steve!!: stop hitting sam

homocide: boo

 

\-----

 

homocide: did u just cuss out the president of the united states then make a pun

steve!!: definitely not,,,,,,,

homocide: "you wouldn't be able to comprehend another country's financial issues if it dropped a bomb on you, but with all these random attacks you've been ordering you'll get 1 or 2 bombs dropped so maybe you'll understand around 4"

steve!!: ok,,,,,

steve!!: l i s t e n

homocide: leave it to steven grant rogers to literaLLY WANT TO FIGHT THE PRESIDENT OF OUR COUNTRY

steve!!: our country??

steve!!: america who?? i don't know her i'm irish

 

\-----

 

homocide: psssst

homocide: psst steve

homocide: psssssssssst

steve!!: what

homocide: guess who's in the common area

steve!!: who

homocide: lucky

steve!!: MUST NYOOM TO PUP

steve!!: N Y O O M

 

\-----

 

homocide: miss you so much babyboy

homocide: gonna give it to you real good when i get back

steve!!: 5 small children could have died as you typed that

steve!!: in their obituary i would've had to apologize about my outrageously horny boyfriend who couldn't keep it in his pants and he just absolutely had to text me instead of  focusing on his mission and saving the lives of these 5 innocent children

homocide: you killed my hard on

steve!!: you killed 5 theoretical children

 

\-----

 

homocide: would it be rude of me to tell bruce that i can hear his opera music all the way over on the other side of the plane and that i am not relaxed at all and i actually want to crush the headphones into pieces that are so tiny you'll never be able to pick them all up

steve!!: that is extremely rude and a possible endangerment to everyone on this plane

homocide: im a certain endangerment if i have to listen to this for the rest of the flight home

steve!!: i can sit in your lap and calmly read the outsiders to you if you want

homocide: please

 

\-----

 

steve!!: hey

steve!!: hey buc

homocide: yeah

steve!!: i luvvv uuuuuuuuu

steve!!: lokeee

steve!!: this muche

homocide: baby are you drunk

steve!!: my oaint snrlls gfunnyt hahahahajs

homocide: why were you sniffing paint

steve!!: i was jyst pajntobf nd iz smerf so goooooof nuck

homocide: baby you've been painting since we were kids you know better than that

steve!!: om srri buck it jtst dmelled so guud anr it remibded ne of ehen wwere littel

homocide: it's ok doll it was just an accident natalia and i are almost finished with our dinner so i'll be home soon i promise

homocide: go to sleep or watch something on netflix until i get back alright

steve!!: ok

 

\-----

 

homocide: STEVE

homocide: STEVEN GRANT

steve!!: what is it buck

homocide: WHY

homocide: WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME PLUTO WASN'T A PLANET ANYMORE

steve!!: i didn't think it was that big of a deal

homocide: NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL

homocide: STEVE THIS IS THE MOST HEARTBREAKING NEWS TO EVER COME OUT OF THE 21ST CENTURY

homocide: MY OLD CEILING ISN'T ASTRONOMICALLY CORRECT ANYMORE

steve!!: your old ceiling was probably painted over 50 years ago

homocide!!: THAT'S A LIE STEVE

homocide!!: BECCA SAID MA DIDN'T LET ANYONE PAINT OVER IT ONCE WE DIED AND SHE EVEN SAID IN HER WILL THAT SHOULD WOULD HAUNT ANYONE THAT DARED TO PAINT OVER IT SO MY HOUSE IS STILL UNDER THE BARNES NAME AND THAT PAINT IS STILL THERE TODAY AND IT IS ASTRONOMICALLY INCORRECT AND I DESPISE MYSELF

steve!!: we could you know,,,,

steve!!: go repaint it,,,,,,,,,

homocide: BUT THAT WOULD MEAN PLUTO IS REALLY GONE AND

homocide: hey steve, care to explain why james just busted into tears -n

steve!!: he found out pluto isn't a planet anymore

homocide: oh -n

homocide: DON'T OH ME PLUTO DKESN'T DEAERVE THIS

steve!!: just let him cry it out

 

\-----

 

steve!!: why do homophobes use cocksucker as an insult

steve!!: like

steve!!: yeah i suck dick and im fucking great at it

homocide: true

steve!!: come here

homocide: is this about to lead to you sucking my dick out of spite for homophobia

steve!!: absolutely

homocide: perfect

 

\-----

 

homocide: hey darlin

homocide: it's real early there but i just wanted you to see that when you wake up

homocide: now go run with sam and don't forget to stay hydrated

homocide: love you baby and i'll be home soon

**Author's Note:**

> ao3 won't let me use the moaning emojis so i had to substitute it with text smh smh
> 
>  
> 
> come yodel about bucky barnes headcanons with me on my wattpad which is also colorfulbucky


End file.
